White Lies
by ILOVEJESSENGLAND
Summary: Set some time after the film, Natasha and Clint face a task that neither are really prepared for- taking Thor food shopping. The first of many 'daily activity' stories planned to be about Strike Team Delta, so if you have any suggestions then please feel free to comment what you'd like to see :)


Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers, sadly. But Stan Lee does, and he's awesome so I guess I can deal with that.

Also, this story was inspired by my own Hawkeye, whose account on here is Lovestory121, so go check her out :)

"Tell me again why we agreed to do this…."

"We didn't. We had no choice…besides, we've been through worse."

"Uh, I'm not so sure about that…"

Natasha looked over at her partner, rolling her eyes, but failing to resist a slight smirk at Clint's expression. The master archer's face was a mixture of horror and embarrassment, his eyes fixated on the main object of their mission.

"Sure we have, Bu…"

Clint cut her off before she could finish, turning to face her with an exasperated look,

"Don't even say it."

Natasha flashed a grin at him in response, before turning back to face the mission at hand; arms crossed over her chest and adopting a serious face. Clint looked in the same direction, and ran a hand messily through his hair.

"So, tell me again why it had to be **us**?"

"I told you, Fury couldn't send Tony, I don't think he's ever been in a place like this in his life. Bruce, well we all know that Bruce and crowded busy places don't mix…and Steve still doesn't fully understand all of the modern concepts used here. So that leaves us."

"What about Hill though..?"

Natasha let out a little chuckle, knowing the mutual joke behind the question,

"Clint, we both know Hill's got her head too far up Fury's ass to be sent on an assignment like this."

Clint cleared his throat to mask a snort,

"So did we get any kinda instructions about taking care of the big guy?"

Natasha shook her head, narrowing her eyes slightly,

"Not really, all Fury said was to keep him away from the Pop Tarts."

Clint's head whipped round to stare at her,

"I don't think keeping Thor from Pop Tarts is a good idea Nat…."

"Last time Thor went shopping he filled all the cupboards with just Pop Tarts and Beer; so no Pop Tarts."

"But…Thor loves Pop Tarts…." Clint's eyebrows furrowed at the thought of trying to separate the god from his favourite snack.

Before they could begin to argue, an earth-shattering crash sounded from further down the aisle. What had been five separate shelves, had now become one shelf made of several stacks of dented plastic, with a very bemused looking Thor standing in front of it, covered in white powder.

"The baking aisle, really?" Natasha complained as she took in the sight of the soiled god, and started walking over towards the commotion.

Clint grinned as he followed suit,

"Hey Tash, Thor kinda looks like you did after we got you with that flour-bomb last week…"

The redhead quickly about turned in the archer's face, causing him to duck as a mass of curls almost whipped his face,

"That was YOU? I remember you blaming it on Tony at the time!"

Clint, who had frozen at her sudden turn, relaxed his hands from the startled position they had been in as the archer's cockiness flooded back,

"Please, you think Tony has that kinda aim? That shot required a special kind of skill…."

Natasha threw him a withering look and Clint threw her a wonky smile back,

"Erm, I mean yeah, that was Tony!"

She smiled wickedly in reply,

"Oh you're going down Barton, just you wait!"

"Bring it Romanoff!" he grinned.

"When the time is right," she paused, turning back to face Thor and finishing in complete deadpan, "I think this will call for my ultimate weapon."

Clint's smile quickly turned in a look of horror, shaking his head as he walked to be beside her,

"No! Not that! Save that for Tony!"

"Ho agent friends," Thor bellowed at the master assassins, walking the short distance left between them ", I do not understand how you complete this _**shopping**_task without returning covered in this cooking dust…"

The two exchanged a look, mentally communicating; Clint begging Natasha to let him take a photo and upload it online, and Natasha warning Clint not to encourage Thor in destroying anymore baking goods. In response Clint gave a shrug, with a trademark look of fake innocence that Natasha knew all too well, before he faced back to their other team member, a serious frown masking the laughter he was attempting so hard to hide. Turning back to Thor herself, Natasha had to admit that the Asguardian was a sight difficult not to snigger at. Completely hidden by flour, Thor resembled, what could only be described as some kind of giant powdery Yeti. It didn't help the agents; that as Thor tried to brush the flour off his clothes and hair, he began to sneeze uncontrollably. Clint bent over the handle of the trolley, his shoulders heaving up and down in an unmistakable chuckling motion, and Natasha bit the inside of her mouth to stop the outburst of laughter from escaping; only allowing a small smile to show as Clint breathed out between hysterics,

"I don't think….that's working…..too well big guy…"

Thor paused, contemplating his situation for a moment,

"Perhaps you are right Barton-son," he agreed before dropping his arms, which caused another cloud of flour to fan into his face, and another round of amusement for Clint. Natasha shook her head and reaching over the giggling body of her partner, pulled the list out of the shopping trolley. Scanning the agenda of items, her eyes narrowed as she read.

"It says we need eggs next…"

Clint, who had finally straightened up, wiped tears away from his eyes,

"Why do you sound so suspicious of eggs Nat? They're pretty useful in the kitchen…tasty too…"

She looked up at her partner, eyeing him cautiously, but before she could mutter a word Thor's booming voice cut her off, shouting as he raced down the aisle ahead of them.

" The egg! We must find him!"

Confused, Natasha watched Thor speed away, almost knocking several civilians over in his eagerness to reach the eggs, before realisation hit,

"_**Him**_?"

She threw a look at Clint, who feigned a look of innocence for about all of two seconds, before creasing up again.

"I knew it! Which one was it this time?"

Clint tried to answer but could only manage indecipherable blubs and squeaks in between chuckles and gasps for air, and he leaned over the handle of the shopping trolley again. Knowing she wouldn't gain any information from her partner at this moment in time, at least not until he calmed down, she absent-mindedly patted his back while keeping her concentration focused on locating Thor,

"Breathe Clint..."

Clint took a few attempts at calming breaths, before resuming back into the same laughing/gasping pattern each time he was about to speak. Shaking her head in exasperation, she looked at the list carefully, scrutinising the next ingredients which had been scribbled in a hurried manner. The light bulb switching on inside her head was almost audible, as she turned to face her partner,

"Oh, you didn't…"

Before either of them could continue, a very disappointed looking Thor appeared in front of them, holding out a carton of eggs.

"I do not understand…" Thor frowned as he opened the lid and gently picked up one of the eggs, holding it in front of his face, "_**These**_ are the largest eggs you have in the food containment buildings in this realm?"

Clint, who had managed to recompose himself piped up,

"They're called Supermarkets, buddy."

"Ahh, my mistake Hawk-friend," they could visibly see Thor mentally storing this information away in his mind as he paused, before his attention returned to the eggs in his hand, "Are you these are the largest of all eggs in this….Supermarket…?" Thor grinned slightly as he applied the correct terminology.

Natasha who was diverting her attention between both men, narrowed her eyes as Clint grinned back at Thor, delivering a thumbs up at the god.

"What kind of eggs are you looking for Thor?" she asked, already knowing the answer he was about to give.

"Golden" Thor stated simply ", and the one known as Humpty Dumpty!" he added, grinning excitedly at the prospect.

Natasha bit back a laugh at how sincere Thor was, and threw a despairing look at Clint, who despite having to contort his face to prevent laughter again, was keeping surprisingly composed.

"Uh, Thor…did Agent Barton get you to watch '**Puss in Boots'** last night?"

Thor nodded his head eagerly, still smiling,

"Aye, it was a wondrous quest! Barton-son also informed me of how noble Dumpty was now trapped in one of these…Supermarkets!"

As Thor's excitement grew, so did his volume levels, causing a few stares and a giggle from a passing child. Natasha ran a hand through her messy crimson curls in disbelief that she was actually about to have this conversation.

"Thor, Humpty Dumpty is a fictional character. He's not real…"

Thor furrowed his brow slightly,

"And the Golden Goose…?"

"Fictional."

Thor's voice grew despairing as he continued to list characters,

"Jack and Jill?!"

"Fictional."

Thor's shoulders slumped slightly as he placed the eggs into the trolley a little too hard, causing yolk to run down the sides of the carton. Natasha glared at her partner, before turning back to face the demi-god.

"But….you do know what fictional means right….?"

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Clint giving her a quizzical look, wondering where she was going with this. Thor continued to stare dejectedly at the leaking eggs,

"That these creatures do not exist."

"Not exactly…"

Thor turned to face his female team-mate, an unsure expression on his face, and Natasha cleared her throat, uncomfortable with what she was about to say,

"They don't exist in _**our**_ world. But in the…erm,_** Movie-verse**_ _**Realm**_…that's where all fictional creatures…live….and that's where…_Humpty Dumpty_ is trapped….Agent Barton must have forgotten to mention that part…"

Clint was doing his best not to laugh as he could see how bitter the words tasted in Natasha's mouth, but her idea was working, as Thor's face immediately brightened.

"You speak the truth Lady Widow?"

Lies were nothing to Natasha anymore, especially not little white ones like these. Nodding her head, she flashed a brilliant smile at Thor, who replied with a huge grin, before turning away from the assassin's and heading down the aisle swiftly . This time it was Clint who called after him,

"Hey, where are you speeding off to Thunder-bolt?"

Thor chuckled as he continued walking away,

"I need some magic beans!"

Clint and Natasha watched as he walked away, waiting until he was far enough out of earshot, Clint turned to smirk at his partner,

"The _**Movie-verse Realm **_huh?"

Natasha looked at him with glower, causing Hawkeye to hold his hands up in protest,

"Hey! Down girl! It's not my fault; you didn't see his face at the end when Humpty got cracked! I had to say something, nobody likes a down God, would have had thunderstorms all week…"

Natasha's face softened slightly, as she considered the scenario. It wasn't hard to believe, and she had just witnessed first-hand how much easier it was to lie to Thor to ensure he stayed happy. Shrugging in agreement, Clint grinned back at her, knowing he was forgiven.

"So what are you gonna do when one of the other's tells MC Hammer the truth?"

Now it was Natasha's turn to smile at her partner, a deadly smile that he had seen way too many times before,

"You think someone's brave enough to tell him _**I**_ lied to him?"


End file.
